Op latere leeftijd werd ik bewust van een weggedrukt kind trauma. Een emotionele stilstand opgelopen op zes jarige leeftijd. De psychoanalytische geest ontspruit zich en je probeert er houvast in te vinden. Echter was de optiek vanuit destijds de psychoanalyse bedacht werd een stilstaande.
Een manier van denken die beweging van neurocellen ontbeerde en standgehouden werd met drank, cocaïne (Freud) en roken. Echter als je teruggeworpen wordt in het verleden naar op zesjarige leeftijd dan moet je eigenlijk in symbolisch opzicht de lagere school en de middelbare school overdoen. Een bewegende procesvorming in de geest met ontwikkeling van persoonlijkheid. Je had misschien andere vrienden gehad wanneer dan, of naar andere meisjes gekeken.
Ook was het zo dat toen ik geestziek werd ruim dertig jaar geleden iedereen rookte en dronk, als je geheelonthouder was dan was je een uitzondering. De manier van denken in de tijd van geestziek worden is in zekere zin de norm.
Tegenwoordig drinkt men 0% biertjes en is roken taboe. Vanuit dat bewustzijn zou het een heel goed idee zijn om net als in Finland, en nog een land, de officiële mogelijkheid te bieden aan GGZ-cliënten zelf de keuze te mogen maken met of zonder medicatie behandeld te willen worden.
Ruggensteun in de kamer van de therapeut is hierin wezenlijk belangrijk. Zodat het een keuze is en niet een onwil zoals bij mij toentertijd. Nu al ruim 25 jaar geheelonthouder en al 25 jaar zonder psychoactieve medicatie maar ook zonder depressies en bijwerkingen. De cultuur is klaar om mee te bewegen en het is zeker goedkoper.
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